Ransvestia

Nine months after that incident my wife and I were working in a southwestern state attempting to save money for graduate school. I was accepted on a probationary basis to start in September. My wife worked in the evenings and I worked during the day.

One might I couldn't hold myself back any longer. The house was quiet and my wife was at work. I slipped into some of her black lace panties, pulled on the panty girdle and anxiously gartered the smooth nylons. It felt good — so good I fell asleep in them only to wake up to a startled wife who had just come home. She was either dumbfounded or possessed infinite wisdom; she didn't say a word about it. I sheepishly took them off and we went quietly to sleep.

The embarrassment quickly wore off and I dressed more frequently and became more daring by secretly wearing the feminine undergarments from the waist down while she was home. It was the same kind of thrill as snitching cookies and getting away with it. She may have suspected me when she could not find some of her things. Again, she didn't say anything.

Graduate school was tough but I was hacking it in spite of several emotional experiences involving sorrow and joy. My mother died sud- denly and I missed seven days of school to attend the funeral back home. The absence compounded my struggle to maintain acceptable grades — especially in ecology where I lacked a good biological background. I stayed up late at night and resorted to the comforts of the panties, girdle and nylons which helped me stay awake and concentrate on the studies at hand.

Our daughter was born shortly after mother's death and we were happy to have her. This event and all the related responsibilities triggered a critical reassessment of myself. The guilt of cross dressing became heavier, but it was rationalized away because it was "helping" me meet the rigorous demands of graduate school and being a husband to my wife and a (helluva) father to my daughter.

My wife went back to work again which meant I had the duties of babysitting in the evenings. I enjoyed it more than expected and didn't mind at all changing diapers although it took some doing to overcome a weak stomach. My dressing from the waist down became a regular home activity. Between the dedication and encouragement from my wife and daughter, the pull of my committee and girdle the thesis was written and completed in time for commencement. It was a team effort!

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